Because I have no idea when inspiration will hit next, and in the interest of having something on here that's not introductory nonsense, here's the facebook post I made about the gross hairy boob lady. If you're familiar with Lewis Black enough to read this in his voice, I feel it will enhance your experience.
I decided today that i am an alien. This lady of tremendous girth comes into the store today wearing a pretty lowcut top. Nothing unusual about that, bad diet and bad fashion have a habit of showing up in pairs like a couple of unwanted wedding crashers looking to score marraige desperate singles. The real horror didnt become evident until she came to check out. As her ominous cleavage hove into view, i began to notice small, curly black hairs all over her chest, some right on her boobs. I am not from this planet. I cant possibly fathom a series of decisions and lifestyle choices that would lead to me leaving the house like that. And yet, this woman did. We cannot be the same species, i refuse to believe it. So i just want to say, if i am an alien subconsciously broadcasting information to my home planet for an invasion, i am sorry. I actually do like some of you.
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